Top 3 things NOT to do in a new relationship

by - 16:33

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After months of checking dating profiles, going on first dates and back and forth texts, you’re now the proud girlfriend to your newest partner. Whether you’ve been seeing them for a couple of months or you’ve only been on a handful of dates, you’re probably over the moon with excitement and everything may feel perfect. 
Not to be a Debbie downer but we all know that once the initial excitement dies down, relationships can go south and become toxic for a multitude of reasons. Some things that ultimately cause the death of a relationship are just out of our control: differences in lifestyle, beliefs or goals. Those are basic signs of incompatibility and there’s nothing that can be said about that. You can either accept the differences, or move on. 
However, there are things that you do have full control over; things that can help prevent your new relationship from becoming dysfunctional. Things you can do to keep your new relationship happy and healthy.

Keep these 3 tips below in mind as your relationship progresses

  1. DON’T - Skip out on your friends or family. No one likes it when a friend disappears after getting into a new relationship—it’s happened to me (it sucks) and I’ve also been guilty of it myself (it sucked, after the fact). You have other relationships to tend to and maintain—don’t ever forget that. Making your relationship your only source of socialization will make you and/or your partner feel suffocated down the road. Furthermore, if you put your friends or family on the back burner, you also risk losing your support system should the relationship not work out. There’s nothing worse than coming out of a long term relationship and realizing you have no one to turn to, because you’ve pushed them all away. 
  2. DON’T - Neglect or change yourself. You’re still you, with or without a partner by your side. Don’t become so consumed by love that you change your inspirations, your routines or your dreams to line up with your new partner’s. Keep up with your hobbies. Keep your priorities and don’t lose sight of yourself. 
  3. DON’T - Forget your boundaries and standards. The honeymoon period of a relationship is when we usually fail to see or ignore red flags. We’re often too caught up in the adrenaline of being with someone new to notice things we would normally walk away from. Stand firm with your boundaries, keep your standards and keep your eyes open. Don’t let certain behaviors fly because they don’t seem important enough to reflect on in the beginning when things aren’t “that serious.” Keep in mind, everyone is on their best behavior when they get into a relationship. Naturally, we try to impress the people we date and in doing so, we all put our best foot forward. Of course, our flaws come to light once we become more comfortable. Any red flags you overlook in the beginning will come out full swing once that new love feeling wears. So if you have to, walk away before things get serious. It’ll save you a lot of time and heartache later on. 
All three tips focus on maintaining parts of your own identity—be it in the form a friendship or in your expectations. These parts of yourself mold you into the person you are. Focusing on your identity when dating is important because behind every successful relationship, are two people who value themselves as individuals. 
A partner shouldn’t complete you—rather, they should complement you and vice versa. Being yourself, being happy with your identity and knowing what you need is the key to having a healthy relationship and being happy with someone else.

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